21/1/15 - The little things.

I've waited quite a while to finally start writing this post. What was I waiting for? Material I guess. It's meant to be a tribute to the best thing that happened to me in 2014 and I can't possibly just write some superficial trash in here could I? It had to be genuine or I wouldn't be doing justice to it. It was a good thing I waited because truly, I feel that the stuff you'll see soon enough is sincere and so so so amazing to me. So you might have noticed the similarity in the title between this blog post and the song by One Direction. Indeed it was the song that inspired the writing of this post but I guess this is more about the things about us that I love than the things I love about her. Without further ado, the little things.

I love when we go to Popular because she wants to look at books and somehow I end up blowing my wallet up buying a couple books and the time we spend looking at the books. The rides we take on the train and bus when we go out or when I bring her home, the way she leans on me or I stop her from falling when the train stops or starts. The way that she lies on my shoulder on her bus home and sleeps. And it doesn't matter how late I get home because I was bringing her home, it doesn't matter to me because I got to spend as long as I could with her and made sure she got home safely. How we held hands clandestinely under the table while we were eating bak kut teh with our friends.

One exception, I hate that I can't stay angry at her. Whenever she realises she pissed me off, she always calls me. The urge to ignore her calls were real, which I did the first time I was angry at her but I realised later on that she was more important to me than what I was angry with her about. And when I hear her voice, the rage melts away. You could say in a way, that her voice is my remedy. She always picks the best times to call me as well, when I'm in the middle of a league game, leaving me playing with one hand. Thankfully I'm the jungler and I can safely free farm, which leaves my team with no ganks but hey, they're not as important as her now, are they?

It doesn't matter if when she wears make up or not because to me she looks just as beautiful. No Victoria's Secret model or Next Top Model from whichever country can match up to just how beautiful she is even when she has no make up on. And when she smiles, oh her smile. It is brighter than any quasar in the universe and the most darling thing I've ever set eyes on. It's a Deafening Blast and I can only say my Last Word as it utterly disarms me. Haha, Dota puns.

How. How pathetic the pokemon bookmarks I made her are when she said she wanted them after seeing it on 9gag. How she actually looks better than me in my own red jacket. How we say the exact same words together at the same time with the exact same tone. I think that's pretty amazing.

And perhaps, the best feeling you can get is when your girl wakes up from a nightmare and she calls you to tell you about it. There's no words to explain how amazing it is that you're the one that she calls when she's afraid. To be the one she goes to for comfort. It's simply amazing.

And there's countless more amazing things I have experienced but I just don't have the ability to put it into words. And even those that I have I feel like I can't ever do them enough justice with my writing ability so I guess you'll have to settle for what you've read.

8/1/2015 - I hate it.

Two posts in a day, isn't that new? It's a different topic though. I'm going to start off by saying that I'm a feminist and I believe that women are strong, independent  and confident individuals. Not sure if it is of much relevance but I'll just say it first.

Guys have to be the one to make the first move. Come the fuck on ladies. Seriously? If you like the guy, go out there and just make it happen. Don't fucking flirt with him and just pray he's smart enough to pick up the signal. He's not. Guys are mostly too stupid to realise girls are flirting with them and they don't know the signal when they see it. Another thing is, you're the one with the hots for him, who's responsibility should it be to confess. His? Oh wait, he's not the one with the hots. He probably doesn't really care if you get with him or not or he didn't even know.

Oh but it's not romantic if the girl is the one confessing. Is this real life or did I not get the memo that we are filming a rom com? Honestly, it can be quite romantic too if you can do it right. Maybe not for you but he'll certainly remember it, the day that girl told him she likes him. Probably the first time it has ever happened for him because most girls nowadays just keep on waiting for the guy to make the first move. Seriously, you could be missing out because you didn't make the first move and then gave up after 3 months of waiting. Honestly, if you're scared other girls will judge you, who's the one who's got the guy they want while they're still waiting for their crush to finally realise? That's right. And other guys'd be like damn I wish a girl would just tell me they like me.

8/1/2015 - Who said it was easy?

Hello hello, it's the first post of 2015. Um, customary New Year's Resolutions intro that I will probably never accomplish? Do? What do people even do with New Year's Resolutions? Um so for 2015 I would like to go workout and get fitter, probably with Kiat when the damn school gym opens. Finally go get a job and see what it's like to work, probably as a cook or barista in a cafe, something that deals with food in a more casual setting. Finally get around to refurbishing my room? I have been procrastinating on that way too much. And lastly maybe see if I can at least get 4k MMR in DotA 2 and Gold 1 for LoL. I am totally unsure what the exchange rate between DotA 2 MMR and LoL ranks but I'm not exactly of the same skill level in the two games anyway. 

To the meat and potatoes of the topic, who said it was easy? What am I talking about? Love, that's what. I'm quite certain it's not the the first time you've seen someone or heard someone saying that love isn't easy because it really isn't. The fantasies of your pre-adolescent self about what love is almost always come from all those rom-coms and other romance films and they are hardly a true reflection of what love really is. Perhaps one day you will see it for yourself if you've yet to see this.

Sacrificing. No I'm not talking about putting the one you love on an altar while raising a dagger with a wicked curve above their heart while invoking some demon or obscure jungle god before plunging the knife into their chest. I'm sure you know what I mean by sacrificing and we all acknowledge how important it is. If it's just one person who sacrifices in the relationship, sooner or later the one sacrificing will get tired of being the only one who is giving and giving, always giving but never receiving.

Admiration. That's what I have for people who can be like a dog. I don't mean it in a bad way. I mean it in like that they can always forget what the owner has done to them and that no matter how much they are pushed away, they can keep coming back. Even if it's for the wrong reasons or no reasons that they are being pushed away, they still love the person enough to come back over and over again so that they can be pushed away again. I don't know for sure but it's my opinion that you can only push someone away so many times before they learn to stop coming back, either because they have given up or that they are just too tired to care anymore. It's not easy to love someone that hard and have the tenacity to never stop coming back.

Commitment. For people who are more open it's probably not as important but I'm old fashioned and to me, it's a pretty big deal. What's the point of being in a relationship if one cannot find it in themselves to commit readily? To me, it just means you don't love the person enough to be exclusive to them. And to those who can tolerate that their partner is uncommitted even though they are not fine with it, tip of the hat to you for having that capacity to love them so much you can overlook it. And to the other perspective, maybe it isn't as easy for you to commit, but love isn't easy.

Fallacy. The difference between dating and being in a relationship. It's a learning journey and I have learned something. When two people are dating, hardly is there an argument. But when they are in a relationship, suddenly it's just so much easier to spark one. The fallacies only a boyfriend can make. A line I thought of that sparked the writing of this post. And here this post shall end.