Exam

Literally exams tomorrow. Or today, if you're like me and like to count it as the next day once it passes midnight. But I am also a person that requires to sleep before a day actually passes in my mind. So when I stay up for more than 24 hours, which is a common occurrence, that causes temporal problems for me where I lose track of the days. And I know jack shit about the last topic for the exam tomorrow, which is vectors (well not jack shit, I know the secondary school stuff but there's also new stuff so you know), and I'm right before the last tutorial but I'm just going to catch a quick break to type this blog post because my priorities are obviously in check. I check them as much as I check my straight Asian male privilege.

And should the fact that I did not listen in class and hence not know what the last topic is about faze me? Yes, why yes it should. Am I fazed? Not in the slightest. Honestly, if you can do the tutorials, you can do the exam. I did, after all, finish an exam with 20mins to spare and scored an A grade on it. I can only say, you just gotta be careful. If you could do the tutorials, you should be able to do the exam. Plain and simple. But honestly I feel like eventually the fact that I am never fazed by anything will come around and bite me in me arse and I'll kick myself in the arse at that moment for having known but not bothered. Like I could literally be facing death and be calm as fuck until I realised I fucked up actually and my last words would be," Well shit." Or," Oh fuck."

I'm also kind of an indirectly direct guy. Like say if I don't like you, you'll eventually know. I won't say it to your face, but you'll know. I won't pretend I like you, or at least, not for an extended period of time and even if I'm tolerating you, I will definitely still make sure I get out what I don't like about you, though I might not make it obvious at that moment. And I also literally do not give a fuck if you don't like me back. I don't need approval from other people. The only approval I need is from myself. As a friend of mine would say," Fuck you, you don't tell me what to do." Well unless of course someone's life is in danger or you're telling me how to bake a cake or something. Otherwise, if you don't like me as a person, I don't care in the slightest. Little people don't get to dictate my life. Go ahead and block me, it only tells me I win by forfeit. You can earn my respect when you can back your shit up yourself. Until then, what you're telling me is the equivalent of air. Worthless.

Which also reminds me of this other piece of shit that I've actually talked about before. I'll just call him K9. Basically, a piece of shit not because he has a shit character, which he does but that's not the point, but because he denies what he is. First of all, he's a weeb (weaboo). I am inclined to dislike weebs if that's my first impression of them and they reek of weeb. That's not to say I hate weebs, I do know nice weebs and they were usually people who I never had the first impression that they were weebs.

Now at first, I did not know he was one. (Or I might have forgotten that I did think he was one because once I think you're at least an okay guy, I don't really mind if you're a weeb anymore. He also supposedly used to have anime girl badges all over his "tactical spec ops black" backpack that I now faintly remember and might have told him it completely destroys the look he is attempting.) But gradually the fact that he consistently keeps recommending me manga and anime and knows the most obscure of references in those genres and even knows what shit like step ahegao something something hentai means (it was once referenced in a 4chan post that I showed him, the exact subgenre of hentai escapes me but step ahegao was inside it and he actually read the manga that was recommended by the guy who asked for one in that genre in the post, clearly well versed in the weaboo).

And he was also extremely proud of this iPhone background featuring an anime girl with tits that could jiggle in accordance to the angle of tilt of the phone, complete with sakura petal shower animated in the background. He even proudly showed me the fact that you could adjust the jiggliness of the titties. His steam profile picture and wallpaper used to be those of anime girls until he changed it recently in order to mask the fact that he's a weeb probably and he also collects wallpapers of Japanese visual novel games. Allegedly for fun. Hmmm, I mean all the signs point to the fact that he's a weeb but sure, of course, you collect those for fun. I collect knives for fun too, but I'm in no way a fan of knives. Nuh uh. 

He also smokes. I will say first that I have nothing against smokers, honestly. I've known many a smoker and never judged them by the fact that they smoke or why they do it. But he, is a very special brand of shithead. See, where most smokers know that they shouldn't ask other people to smoke with them if they don't smoke, or they know it's not healthy or normal for most people, he thinks it's a very normal thing. In his words, "Everyone will smoke at one point or another in their lives, especially if you are in the army." Here's another one, "In order to become an officer in NS, you have to smoke and not get caught." Well you might wonder how the sergeant knows if you're officer material if you weren't caught, I know, I wondered too. But apparently, he says, they just know because they smoke too. But they will never know the method you used because they never used it themselves and hence won't catch you using it. And also apparently it's not leadership or intelligence that shows you're officer material. It's smoking. You heard it from him first. Honestly, I've lived 18 years and he has said by far the most stupid and illogical things I've ever heard. I wonder seriously if he listens to himself sometimes.

His Zippo lighter that never used to be functional (it doesn't have fuel in it), suddenly, recently became functional. I've told him in the past that if he fueled it up he could do those lighter tricks and shit which is pretty cool and he said," Nah I just own it for fun." Mysteriously though, it works now, he doesn't know the tricks because he just opens and lights it in the middle of class like how a normal person who doesn't know the tricks would. Well if he doesn't know the tricks, isn't practicing them either, I wonder why it works now? Can't be related to the fact that he disappears for half an hour for a few lessons and when he returns, plays with a packet of ciggarettes for about 10 mins before he finally keeps it in his bag now, can it? Nah, can't be. He doesn't smoke, just like how he's not a weeb.

Honestly I've seen him smoke 1 time, from which I could tell he's not an experienced smoker and doesn't know how to smoke from the way he expels the smoke and holds the cigg, not to mention the fact that he lacks a smoker's etiquette of not sharing the smoke with non-smokers. I've sat at an entire table of smokers smoking away and not caught a single whiff of the smoke. Not the case with him. Oh he would come and hang out with you and be all cheery as if it's nothing wrong. And also he broke his promise to a friend which was that he would only smoke when he was with him. I do not know who that guy is, never seen him and K9 still smoked in front of me. I don't have to say more do I.

Honestly, never mind that he smokes, he's going around extolling that smoking is normal and he told this rather innocent girl, whom I fear might not really know what's good for her, that smoking is a normal thing and he would respect her if she smokes. But it's fine if you don't, you don't have to. "It's cool to inject yourself with cancer, I'll respect you if you do. But if you don't, it's fine too, you just won't be cool and respectable." Honestly what a freaking shithead, that's all I can say. Grade A fuckwit. He just keeps denying what he is. I can't stand that. He's lost all the respect I had for him (honestly, I had some because he was finally someone that understands what I am saying when I talk about firearms and such, a rare find in Singapore). I hardly talk to him anymore and I don't lose anything out of it, he's a real fucker. At least man up and have the fucking balls to own up to your words and deeds. I recently got a haircut (which needs product to stay in proper shape and all) and he's told me that I need to get a real man's haircut, which in his opinion is a fucking buzz cut. If you think that's cool, more power to you, but by no means does a man's hairstyle determine his masculinity. If you think it does, your perspective needs some serious checking.

I've said more than I should and deviated quite a lot from my original talking points into a rant so I'll end it before I end up sleeping at 03 30.