Now, to the topic of the post, money. Let's just say that my control of my expenses are not the best, though I would say it is better than some people I know. Mainly because I don't have that much money to spend anyway and I don't like to borrow money. My savings are at a rather precarious state and I don't actually save more than SGD50 a month, maybe I might have been able to, but not with my current circumstances anyway. Had I had more savings, I would have said that life is good to me. Steam summer sales (though I've been beginning to have less and less time to actually play any games so it might be good to hold off on buying games for now), there's a supposedly a sale for my Kendo equipment which comes with some free stuff. There's Overwatch too, which is surprisingly cheap for such a new game and also an ARMA III expansion pack (which I say is rather overpriced but I'm quite sure it would've been much cheaper during the summer sales). Except it's not that simple.
See, I've been caught at a rather bad time. As some of my readers might know, I've recently gotten into a rather poisonous hobby. One that eats away at my wallet. I've been bitten quite badly by the fountain pen bug and I've my eyes set on several inks and pens. Problem is, they aren't available in Singapore (although some other inks I've my eyes on are, so I shall foresee that I will remain rather poor for some time to come). And so my coin purse may clink, but not much and whatever clinks may even be useable. What I'm looking to purchase is available in the US, and since my sister is going there, she can alleviate some of the shipping fees by bringing it back for me. I've checked the shipping fees to Singapore and boy, it's cancerous. I could get 5 inks for just the shipping fee. Only problem is, that means that right now I don't have any money to spare for my other vices.
In between the previous paragraph and this, I've gone on to purchase those pens and inks so now I'm truly broke. I've given the whole thing some thought though. I have to earn a lot of money to fund myself in future. I have a great many things I wish to own and many of those not cheap. And I also know that the life I seek will not be found in Singapore, which means I have to find a way out, which is going to be difficult. Right now, I'm not even sure if I can make it into university, in fact, I quite seem to have lost my way about my future. While I did have the ambition of being an astrophysicist, if I do make it to NUS and get the course and specialisation I want, I will be quite caught up with research and might not ever get the time to do what I want. And it's kind of a job that you never quit, being an astrophysicist. I had also alternatively thought of being an engineer, specifically in automobile design, if in case I do not make it into NUS and my desired course. Material Science has so far proven to be quite interesting for me, and the good part about being an engineer is that there isn't quite the pressure to break new ground like a scientist has. All an engineer has to do is to find a way to apply the science that someone else discovered to the real world and that's something I can quite see myself doing.
Before I digress any further into other topics that fully deserve a whole blog post of their own (when I finally find the passion to do it, because sometimes it sorta fizzles out and I realise there isn't really much to say about it, much like this one), I'd just like to end off with, I'm poor as fuck and it's entirely my doing. Though others would say that I'm not, given that I do have purchasing power and I did just purchase, my point is that I can't get all the things I want right now and honestly, it's just life. We all have to weigh our choices and it just so happens that my pens happen to come first.
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